Looking back on 2018 it feels separated into different sections, there's been ups and downs as I'm sure every year has and will always have. I think 2018 has given me a lot of firsts, and looking back on it now I feel like I've grown up a lot this year, and learnt a lot of important life lessons that I was oblivious to before.

In January 2018, I was bogged down with stress trying to balance my uni work and my home life. I honestly hated living in uni halls, I was lonely, isolated and hated leaving my room. I didn't get on with my flat mates at all, and so my uni room felt like a prison to me. I constantly was up at my boyfriend's flat to get away from halls but then that left me struggling to find time to fit in my work. Needless to say I'm so happy that I decided to stay with my boyfriend this year for uni rather than staying in halls again.

In February 2018 I celebrated Valentines Day and Jack's birthday. I didn't get to see him on Valentines day since he was working, but then he surprised me when he came to pick me up for the weekend by getting me some beautiful flowers. Definitely a highlight of 2018.
At the end of February we went on a spontaneous day out to Skegness, it was lovely and carefree and fun. We bought loads of cheap sweets from the market and went on a long walk down the beach.


In March, I finished my animation I'd been grovelling over for uni. So far I'd say this is the piece of work I've been most proud of myself for making. It took months, I'd never animated anything before let alone even use After Effects, so accomplishing a finished animation with a narrative, illustrations and sound, I was so so happy to say I did it!

June was a tough month. Me and Jack had a big argument and ended up having some time apart for a few weeks. It was a really low moment of my year mental health wise, but we made up and got back together and I came and visited him on my birthday. My birthday was lovely, we had loads to talk about since we hadn't seen each other for a while, and it was a lovely reunion.
I also got my first ever professional graphic design job over the summer, I had my interview the day before my birthday and managed to get handed the job on the spot. It was really nice to build up my portfolio with some design work that hadn't just come out of my own head. I learnt a lot about working with clients and drafting up designs.

We also finished my office room in June, it was finally fully painted with the desk installed. Rover loves it too.


July was mainly spent working, creating designs for my graphic design internship. One of my highlights of July was going camping with Jack, we bought a load of camping stuff, including a mysteriously cheap bright yellow tent (which turned out to be cheap because it attracts flies like a floodlight), and headed off out into the peaks to camp overnight. We haven't camped since 2016 so it was so nice to get to go out and experience it all again, I loved sleeping out under the stars with the beauty of the peak district around me.
We found out in the middle of the night that we were in a cow field though, and ended up getting scared and nearly chased by a big scary black bull, so that was terrifying.

I feel like whenever I see a trending topic or a national mental health related day, it's my sign that it's something that needs to be talked about. Or maybe just a sign I need to get brainstorming some more original ideas, but anyway...

The other day I saw that it was Stress Awareness Day, and thought that it would be a great topic to introduce into my mental health series.

So firstly I want to talk about the things that cause me stress, and how I deal with them and take time for myself so I don't get too overwhelmed. Growing up I've slowly come to realise that I actually am quite a sensitive person, and I do take a lot of things to heart easily, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to consider how other people will feel about things as well as my self. Now this isn't necessarily a bad thing by any means, but it has made me the kind of person where sometimes I will just find myself so burnt out by looking after myself, and then trying to keep everyone else happy too.

I'm also a massive over thinker, as I'm sure a lot of people are, I get worried about scenarios sometimes that haven't even happened yet. To be honest I don't think it's a completely terrible trait to have, sure sometimes it can lead you into ruminating over the same thoughts, which can cause a bit of a head tangle, but I also feel like overthinking is something that makes me feel very prepared. You see because I am always expecting or at least considering, the worst case scenario. So in the very unlikely situation that the worst case scenario (dun dun dun) does happen, I've prepared myself for it!

For example, if there's something I'm super nervous about like a job interview, I'll overthink to the point where I might google maps check the street name fourteen times before I leave the house. But in the worst case scenario that my phone might die and I might be left stranded having to navigate purely off the basis of street names, trust me I've got it covered.

I think the main thing that I want to emphasise throughout my mental health posts is that yeah some people are different to others, but what some people may see as something 'wrong', there's always something positive to find out of that situation. It's just life, things may not always go to plan or work on the first try, but at the end of the day a lesson can be took from everything, good or bad. Just in the same way that stress can make me feel more organised.


So now onto ways that I handle stress when it gets a bit too much.

I'm not going to start talking about yoga as everyone may have predicted, although I'd love to try it. I've got pretty mundane ways of dealing with stress. My favourite thing to do is to go on a long walk, whether it be grabbing Jack and heading out into the peaks for a massive hike, or just taking ten minutes by myself to follow the dog walking path behind my flat. I think walking lets you get everything out and clear your head, as well as taking a bit of time away from whatever it is that is stressing you out.



I also, weirdly, like the take a bath or a shower when I'm feeling stressed. I just like to feel like I'm on top of things and looking after myself, especially if I've been sat all morning frantically trying to finish by uni work before a deadline and my hair looks like a greasy bush on top of my head. A good thing about this too is that I always come out of my bath or shower feeling refreshed and ready to carry on anything I've got to finish.

Finally, my last tip for handling stress might sound a bit silly. I'm sure a lot of people will just think 'as if it's that easy' but something that I've had to force myself to do is to just learn to accept that sometimes things don't go to plan. Not everything works out exactly like you want it to, but it's the same with everyone in life, and that's something that makes it better because other people understand (I know crazy right). You can't be afraid to ask for help sometimes or just to let people in on what's going on in your head.

Like for example, I had to miss a university session on Monday because our water tap in the bathroom decided it was going to start leaking and making horrible noises in the middle of the night and I had to wait in for the technician to come and fix it. Not a big deal, right? But I was stressing out over it naturally because I didn't want to miss the session. But then I talked to my university tutor today and told him why I couldn't make the session, thinking he was going to be annoyed at me, and guess what he said. He just went, 'Oh Becky you should've just emailed and told me, I wouldn't have minded!'

And there it is. The majority of the time people will understand, people will get that it's been a hard week, that you're tired, or didn't have time, or forgot. I think the biggest thing I've had to learn is to just go with the flow and not get too caught up in my own little plans I make prior to a situation, because life doesn't really care about your plans, it's got it's own.


As always feel free to contact me if you have any post suggestions or even just need a little chat!

I like to think that there isn't a person on the planet who doesn't have anxieties, we are all different after all, with different backgrounds, different struggles, different pressures. One person's plans on their worst day may be the same plans as someone on their best, it's all about perspective. Some people are scared of spiders, some love and adore their fuzzy little pet tarantula called Fred, same trigger, different reactions.

I remember when I first moved out to go to university, and I was terrified of making new friends and living in an all new space. I would sit in my tiny student accommodation bedroom and stress myself out for hours before I had to leave for my lectures. I'd have a shower, do my makeup, wipe it off, do my makeup again, take another shower, constantly battling myself to act normal. Wanting to start fresh so that I could get every tiny aspect right about how I looked, and if it didn't go right, if the flick on my eyeliner smudged, I'd just start again.

Anxiety can show itself in lots of ways, sometimes it can be hoovering the same spot of floor 20 times before you leave for work, sometimes it can be stuttering, it's different for different people.

I find it best to deal with my anxieties by trying to prepare myself as much as possible. I get to know what makes me anxious. If I know that I'm going out today to do a presentation in front of a class of people, I feel anxious as f*ck. But I also know that when I'm anxious I get stomach pains, I feel a bit sick, I get sweaty. It's not pretty but it's true. So I make sure I've got some ibuprofen in my bag if I need to take some, make sure I've eaten some breakfast and drank something before I leave, wear something loose fitting..

Spending a few minutes in the morning to prepare myself that little bit extra actually helps my anxiety loads, I just feel calmer knowing that I'm prepared for it.

Anxiety isn't pretty, everyone says confidence makes you beautiful, and honestly confidence doesn't feel like it's the problem. It's not that I'm afraid to go outside, or afraid to meet people, I'm not afraid. It's just like my body has a reaction that I'm not telling it to have. I can be perfectly fine but get sweaty palms, or just wake up in the morning with my stomach churning and a weird feeling that I don't know why I have. It's just something that I've learn't to live with and accepted as part of me. I'm not any lesser for getting anxious, it's just me.

So why is she talking about her sweaty armpits you may ask?

Well today is Mental Health Awareness Day and it felt like the perfect day to start talking about mental health. When I started this blog I really wanted to talk a lot on the topic of mental health, it's something that's important to me and that I'm interested in, and if I can help anyone then great, if I can't then I suppose I feel better anyway in myself just being able to talk about things. It's quite therapeutic blogging about your thoughts and feelings, like keeping a diary, it makes your feelings feel valid, you understand why you do things if you take the time to write them out and really unpack it all.

To end this blog post, and keeping on the theme of mental health, I wanted to share a couple of designs I made recently for a competition at my uni. So Sheffield Hallam are having a couple of evenings of speakers talking about their experiences and giving advice to students regarding mental health in the arts, so how the pressures of being a designer, artist, illustrator, etc, can affect your mental health, and how to deal with that.

If you're interested, of course the details are on the posters, and tickets are available via Eventbrite
However- I actually ended up winning this competition (yippee!) so if you're from Sheffield you may even see my posters around the uni campuses! Let me know if you see any, it would be amazing to see them all out and about!

So above, at the beginning of this post, is my A3/A2 poster design, and below you can see my design to go on screens around the uni.

Have an amazing mental health day my lovelies, and if anyone wants any advice, or just a chat, feel free to get in touch with me I'd be happy to talk with you! I'm always here.

Becky

It's always nice to start with a good first impression, especially with a blog, I think. There's so much unknown when you're reading someone's blog, it's different to watching videos of someone or even meeting them in real life, you could be reading the words of anybody behind your screen.. and lucky for me you're reading mine!

So who am I?

My name's Becky, short for Rebecca, and I'm a twenty year old graphic design student at Sheffield Hallam Uni. I love to make digital artwork and designs, mainly portraits and fun illustrations like this;

 I live with my boyfriend Jack, in Sheffield, with our two cats, Rover and Ofor. Rover is only one year old, Jack got him as a Christmas present for me last year!




Me and Jack love to go out exploring, from drives out in the Peak District - right on our doorstep! - to venturing out to find new places around the country. Jack loves photography, and we always spend hours out and about looking for amazing views to capture.


 I'd love to make this blog a place where I can help people, educate, and give my perspective on all sorts of topics, but also I'd love to be able to document all my amazing adventures throughout my twenties and (hopefully) beyond, so I hope you're all coming along for the ride with me!